Live-tweeting from the end of the world

3/2/2017	It is official now- my wife has left me.
3/2/2017	Today is one of the top five worst days of my life.
3/2/2017	House is very, very empty this morning.
3/2/2017	She came back to get her things, accompanied by the police. She really isn't coming back. My life is about to change again dramatically.
3/2/2017	Wow. I am really all alone now. I don't know what to do.
3/2/2017	She won't even talk to me. Just... gone. And with that I am scrambling to grab ahold of something to keep me going.
3/2/2017	I am rambling too much. Sorry.
3/2/2017	This was unexpected, What do I do now? Could we start again please? ---Jesus Christ Superstar
3/3/2017	Holding on....
3/3/2017	Morning, everybody.
3/3/2017	Today might be a good day to take up alcoholism. I've heard that hard lemonade and hard cherry cola are pretty good.
3/3/2017	Sadness is creeping up on me. I have got to find something to do.
3/3/2017	20 years this month... our first date was 20 years ago this month. Married for 18 years.
3/3/2017	Really should get out and do something today, but damned if I even want to leave the house.
3/3/2017	I wonder how much soda I would have to order to get the pizza place to deliver it.
3/3/2017	Emptiness. A new feeling which I don't like.
3/3/2017	Shit this day has been bad....
3/4/2017	My thanks to the Baptists that told my wife she had "biblical grounds" to leave me; you never talked to me about it, but you know, whatever
3/4/2017	Good night, all
3/4/2017	Sad today.
3/5/2017	Watching wrestling and Walking Dead tonight. I am used to my wife sitting at the table, not watching, doing her coloring and puzzles.
3/5/2017	It is so quiet in this house now.
3/5/2017	I wasn't a perfect husband, but damn I tried my hardest. Guess my best wasn't good enough.
3/5/2017	Wondering why.
3/5/2017	Damn this is difficult
3/6/2017	I'm sorry I'm so needy. But this was not s supposed to happen.
3/6/2017	I keep checking my phone for texts and messages from her, I check Facebook for PMs from her... nothing.
3/6/2017	I look out the window two dozen times a day, hoping she will come home... nothing.
3/6/2017	I wait for her cutesy comments while I am watching wrestling... nothing.
3/6/2017	I'm lost.
3/7/2017	Day 6 of the separation- no texts, no calls, nothing. I look out the window constantly- nothing. She just disappeared.
3/7/2017	This is just a disastrous mess with no way out. I am very sad.
3/7/2017	*sigh*
3/7/2017	Alone for seven days now. Still haven't heard from her. Sad and depressed. Constantly looking outside, hoping a car comes by with her in it.
3/7/2017	I can't take any steps forward until I know whether she is coming back or not. And she isn't telling me.
3/8/2017	Some days I have to find the little things to keep myself going. Have an interview tomorrow, not too confident, but it's something.
3/8/2017	Sorry, but this hurts. Badly.
3/8/2017	Getting ready to just give up.
3/9/2017	I don't give a shit anymore.
3/11/2017	Not every man is an ignorant fool. Just thought I'd throw that out there.....
3/12/2017	All the positive thoughts in the world ain't bringing her back. She's gone. #depressed
3/13/2017	Whether you believe in prayer, good thoughts, or just toking while listening to the Dead, I will take it. I need it. Desperately.
3/13/2017	I am sinking like a stone. This is not good.
3/13/2017	Yes, I am in touch with counselling services, and the mental health hotline checks in with me nightly.
3/13/2017	It still sucks to lose everything that ever meant anything to you. That's where I'm at.
3/13/2017	Sorry to bum you out. Back to funny memes and reality show talk.
3/14/2017	It's that time of the night- time to weep.
3/14/2017	I have to actually leave the house tomorrow. I suppose that's a good thing.
3/14/2017	hoping that someday I can stop being sad.
3/14/2017	It is unofficially over. She has notified human services that she is no longer living in the household, she has taken her money...
3/14/2017	She has cut off all communication with me. I have no way of trying to work this out because I can't even talk to her....
3/14/2017	My life is crushed. I never thought this would happen.
3/14/2017	I have been sad before, and depressed before, but this is a whole new level of pain.
3/14/2017	I'm so tired of being here Suppressed by all my childish fears... Your presence still lingers here And it won't leave me alone --Evanescence
3/15/2017	Almost invited the Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses over just to have some company. I really need to get out of the house.
3/15/2017	Got a call from Matt's home, his behaviors are increasing again and they want to increase his meds. I wish I could take care of him here....
3/15/2017	We have reached that time of the night when I get sad and weep. Made worse by the fact that my son isn't doing well and I can't help. :(
3/15/2017	To have someone that you love make the choice to walk away- that sucks. Badly.
3/15/2017	Damn it!
3/15/2017	I keep looking out the window hoping that she will come back. Can't decide if that is faith or stupidity.
3/15/2017	I feel freaking hopeless.
3/16/2017	I'm so sad right now. Sorry, but social media is my only connection to people right now. I tweet what I am feeling.
3/16/2017	It is very hard to be alone. To have your kids gone and the love of your life choosing to be apart from you.
3/16/2017	When my wife was here I could see her silly cat pictures she would post on Facebook, and hear about the kids stories she was writing.
3/16/2017	Now... not a damn thing. It is very quiet in this house. I am living alone in a three-bedroom house.
3/16/2017	The desperation settles in like a thick fog. I hear people telling me that it gets better. It is hard to believe.
3/16/2017	I am going to church on Sunday, even though I have been avoiding it. I can't pretend to be happy and put on that happy mask. Not any more.
3/16/2017	OK, Sean, you can quit looking out the window for her. She ain't coming home. Is it faith, or stupidity? I'm not sure.
3/16/2017	Jesus, eHarmony, the corpse isn't even cold yet, quit promoting your services in my timeline
3/17/2017	Something missing from this finger.... Took some effort to carve it off my finger. Not sure what to do with it.
3/17/2017	There comes a time every night when the loneliness and sadness descends like a fog... this is that time.
3/19/2017	Today is not a good day.
3/19/2017	There are good days, and then there are days when the loneliness seems like it will never end.
3/19/2017	There are good days, and then there are days when you wish you knew what happened so you could fix it and welcome her home.
3/19/2017	There are good days, and then there are days when the loneliness just gnaws a hole in your soul.
3/19/2017	I don't hate her. I want her to come home. But the longer she is gone the less likely that seems.
3/19/2017	Keep in mind that in the past year both of my children and my wife have left my house. Thrice as hard.
3/21/2017	Today is bittersweet... the 20th anniversary of my first date with Laura. Not the way I would like to have commemorated it.
3/21/2017	Drove a total of three hours for a one hour meeting.
3/22/2017	You think you're OK after your ex leaves, but some days... BAM! The grief hits you like a ton of bricks.
3/22/2017	Damn it, her parents and some of her friends know where she is. Why won't she talk to me? #Sad
3/22/2017	Here tweets a broken, broken man :(
3/23/2017	Got my answer tonight. I don't like it, shed a lot of tears over it, but at least I know.
3/24/2017	God this hurts today.
3/24/2017	I can't give up. I can't give up. I can't give up.
3/24/2017	I want to give up. But I can't.
3/25/2017	It's a hard thing when someone you've been with for 20 years leaves. Your lives are intertwined for that much time, pain is inevitable.
3/25/2017	You have to figure out who you are apart from that person.
3/25/2017	"Our" belongings, resources, etc. suddenly have to be separated into "his" and "hers". A division that isn't always easy.
3/25/2017	25 days into this separation. I still cry at least once a day. Part of that is the not knowing- could she possibly come back?
3/25/2017	And if she comes back, how can things ever be the same? I don't think they can. I am willing to take responsibility for my faults, though.
3/25/2017	Damn it.
3/27/2017	Well what do you know? I didn't cry today!
3/27/2017	Well, I didn't have any depressive episodes today. So that's a plus.
3/27/2017	Some days are good, some days are sad....
3/28/2017	Thinking about crashing weddings so I can be that one guy who raises his hand when they ask if anyone has any objections.
3/29/2017	Missing my kids today really bad:(
3/30/2017	There are days when I feel ok, and days when I wonder if I will ever be ok again.
3/30/2017	I am awake when I should be asleep, looking at pictures, thinking of happier times.
3/30/2017	Once again I ask, if you believe in prayer, good thoughts or whatever, I'll take it. I need some hope.
3/30/2017	Give me hope, give me hope That emptiness brings fullness And loss of love brings wholeness to us all ---Indigo Girls
3/31/2017	I am constantly checking my email and Facebook for messages from my wife. I either have a lot of faith or I am just really stupid.
3/31/2017	Finally started cleaning up around here, boxing up her things, throwing away odd scraps of paper with her doodles on it...
3/31/2017	Time to face the facts... she's gone. Been gone for a month now. Ain't no April Fools joke.
3/31/2017	Sad today
4/1/2017	Having dreams about falling in love. Haven't had those since before I got married. I hate them because I wake up and realize the reality.
4/1/2017	Going to listen to John Mayer on the way to church today.
4/2/2017	I have to resist the urge, when people post engagement photos, to reply in all caps "DON'T DO IT!!!"
4/2/2017	Massively depressed today.
4/2/2017	It is difficult, when you go on an errand and then come home, to realize that the house is empty, and will continue to be.
4/2/2017	No more silly dog pictures on her timeline, no more hearing about her latest ideas for children's stories, just... no more.
4/2/2017	No hugs when I need them, no long talks into the night, no person physically there that understands how much I miss my children.
4/2/2017	People are dealing with more tragic things than I am. I get that. But the emptiness still remains. One of the difficult things to understand
4/2/2017	I may say too much on social media, but I don't say everything. There are other things going on that have me in a funk and make life hard.
4/2/2017	So if you think I just talk too much about it, well, online is all I have. I don't have anyone in the area to talk with. You folks are it.
4/2/2017	If you put me on mute, I get it. May not like it, but I get it. But at least hold some good thoughts out there for me.
4/2/2017	OK, done whining. For now :)
4/2/2017	Why? What did I do? Why won't she have anything to do with me? These are the questions that haunt me every day since she left.
4/2/2017	And there may never be an answer. In the meantime my heart aches. An emptiness that may never get better.
4/2/2017	I feel like I am at the end of the end of the rope. And there is no soft landing place.
4/2/2017	Sorry for flooding your timeline. I keep on typing t o keep my mind off other things.
4/3/2017	"Gut-wrenching sobs." Found out what that phrase means last night.
4/4/2017	Somebody hit Matt tonight, so they had to call me about it, even though it was barely anything. But I still wish a certain someone was here.
4/4/2017	Some days are good, and then there was yesterday. Wept so hard I started throwing up. This is not an easy process by any means.
4/4/2017	Thank you for your patience with me as I work through this.
4/4/2017	Someone recently told me online- "don't worry, you'll meet another woman". Way too soon for that kind of talk. The corpse isn't cold yet.
4/4/2017	You can't turn 20 years of emotions on and off like a faucet.
4/5/2017	Keeping weird hours this week, ever since Monday's emotional meltdown. Staying up till two, sleeping late and then napping again....
4/5/2017	... trying to sleep regular hours but just can't.
4/5/2017	I can't stand this shit anymore.
4/5/2017	Over a month now and no word from her. I'm so tired of being alone …
4/6/2017	Gonna take my pills and go to sleep now.
4/6/2017	OK, I have to clear something up since I got several messages about this. When I said "take my pills and go to sleep", I meant (cont.)...
4/6/2017	...prescribed doses of psych meds. If I was going to commit suicide, the last thing I would do would be to announce it on social media.
4/6/2017	So, with that said, I am going to bed.
4/7/2017	Grief is funny, hits you when you least expect it. Had a good day today, until Hawaii Five-O came on, which we always watched together.
4/7/2017	Oh, I miss you Laura.
4/7/2017	I feel very lost today. No kids, no wife, hell, even the Jehovah's Witnesses passed my house by today.
4/7/2017	Just don't know what to do to be happy anymore.
4/7/2017	sigh
4/7/2017	life hurts
4/7/2017	life just fucking sucks.
4/7/2017	help
4/9/2017	Decided at the last minute to drive to Canton to see my daughter. Then I'm going to Golden Corral to feed my face just because I want to.
4/9/2017	I've never been thankful for autism. But I am thankful that I don't have to explain to the kids why mom and dad aren't together.
4/10/2017	I am torn between wanting to go on for the sake of my kids, and not wanting to go on because my wife left. I am very sad today.
4/10/2017	Weeping hard today. Going to see my son tomorrow, I hope that helps.
4/10/2017	You think you're finally getting past something, a nd then BAM! It socks you in the face.
4/10/2017	I want her to come back. She's not coming back. I am so sad. And tired of being sad.
4/10/2017	Just got some cheering up from a friend. Thank you. ((((hugs))))
4/10/2017	Got four calls today about Matthew head butting others. Still planning on visiting him tomorrow.
4/11/2017	Screw it, I'm getting drunk tonight.
4/12/2017	*IF* it is going to get better, it has to get better now. For the sake of my sanity and my survival. It has to get better. Now.
4/13/2017	At that point in the evening when the house is quiet and empty. I hate it. #MissMyWife #MissMyChildren
4/13/2017	Saw both of my kids this week. Wish I could do that every week.
4/14/2017	We always watched Hawaii Five-O together. Now I get to watch it by myself. sigh....
4/14/2017	Trying real hard not to cry. It's a battle I'm losing :'(
4/15/2017	It would make my Easter if I heard from my wife today....
4/16/2017	Tired of crying. Would like to go one day without it.
4/17/2017	I miss my wife so much....
4/17/2017	... and I am so tired of being sad
4/17/2017	At my weekly therapy appointment this morning
4/17/2017	I just want to go home and go to sleep for days
4/17/2017	Please please please please please come home, I miss you so much.
4/17/2017	I talk about my current troubles a lot, I know. I don't really have other outlets to express my feelings besides therapy appointments.
4/17/2017	My wife was also my first girlfriend. I met her when I was 30. So obviously I don't have much experience processing breakups.
4/17/2017	I hate this!
4/17/2017	I rely on social media because my best friends are on it. The human flesh-and-blood friends I have only interact with me via social media.
4/17/2017	If you look at my tweets and say "oh, WTF, not this again", yeah, I get that feeling. Sorry but not sorry.
4/17/2017	Sometimes a series of tweets can at least help me process some feeling and get me to the point where I am not as sad.
4/21/2017	Been a decent past three days, no weeping, but I still wonder what my future holds for relationships.
4/21/2017	I was with my wife for 20 years, she was my first girlfriend. Met her when I was 30. So I don't have a huge track record.
4/21/2017	If I thought meeting someone at 30 was tough, I'm 50 now. And damaged goods. How do you fall in love again when you are 50?
4/21/2017	Not that I'm looking to fall in love again. Too soon. I still want my wife back. But that's not looking likely.
4/23/2017	Finally climbing out of the hole.
4/23/2017	I am not depressed today. In fact, I haven't been depressed for several days. No, today I am mad.
4/23/2017	I am mad that someone thinks so little of a 20-year relationship with me that she would just take off from it without talking about it.
4/23/2017	I am mad that I am left in limbo, that she can just leave when she wants and come back (or not) when she wants, and not cluing me in.
4/23/2017	I am mad that her friends are treating this like a high-school game. "Oh, I've heard from her, but I'm not telling you anything!"
4/23/2017	If I had done to her what she has done to me, I would be the enemy. But she leaves, and it is all about her deciding what she wants.
4/23/2017	My 20-year relationship has boiled down to a power play. Who has the power to impose their will on the other? I hate that shit.
4/23/2017	I was never the perfect husband. Never claimed to be. But in order for me to make amends, I have to be able to contact her, not be cut off.
4/23/2017	And if there are no amends to be made, I deserve to know that. None of this "She will tell you when she decides she is ready."
4/23/2017	OK, I am done whining.
5/10/2017	I just realized that I have never broken up with anyone before. I don't know how to do it. Better figure it out soon.
5/12/2017	Just woke up after a dream about my wife .  Second night in a row .  Not a good development.
5/13/2017	This whole "starting my life all over again" stuff? Yeah, I don't like that.
5/13/2017	I really wish I could wish my children's mother a happy Mother's Day. But alas, a restraining order makes that impossible.
5/13/2017	if you are in a relationship, and you see some cracks start to appear, talk it out. With each other.
5/14/2017	Going to see my psychiatrist tomorrow, therapist on Tuesday. Man do we have things to talk about.
5/14/2017	Don't really want to be single again, but the odds of me meeting someone are slim to none and slim's out of town.
5/14/2017	I don't want to be the one to file for divorce. Shit shit shit.
5/15/2017	Divorce is really freaking complicated. Especially when your soon to be ex-wife won't communicate.
5/15/2017	I hate being alone in the house. I miss having someone here
5/16/2017	Slowly separating our stuff into "his" and "hers" piles. Found a tape of songs that we played on our honeymoon. Damn it all to hell.
5/17/2017	77 days since my world turned upside down. J ust when you think you have a handle on things- BAM. Grieving over a relationship sucks.
5/17/2017	Today has sucked royal
5/17/2017	It hurts like hell to lose someone that you have loved so deeply for so long. Sorry to keep bringing this up.
5/18/2017	Pray, smoke a bowl, listen to Jefferson Airplane... whatever you do to give off good vibes to people, I will take it tonight. Been rough.
5/18/2017	damn this hurts like hell. why tonight? thought I was making some headway, but I feel like I've been slugged in the gut with Negan's bat.
5/18/2017	is heartbroken
5/18/2017	Better day today. Sometimes you can handle depression, sometimes it handles you. Like the business end of Negan's bat.
5/20/2017	Had another person tell me that it is now time to live for myself. Still trying to figure out how to do that. Spent 20 years living for her.
5/21/2017	'Cause I wished you the best of
	All this world could give
	And I told you when you left me
	There's nothing to forgive
	But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
	Heartbreak and misery
	It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
	You're happy without me
	---Labrinth, "Jealous"