Mother's Day greetings from the White House!

FROM THE DESK OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

Dear Mrs. (fill in last name here);

Greetings from the White House! It is my pleasure to wish you a Happy Mother's Day!

Here at the White House we will be celebrating in the traditional manner. First, we will enjoy appetizers with a glass of Rum's Feld. You can't always have the drink you want; sometimes you have to drink what's given to you. The meal will be the catch of the day prepared with a special recipe- the DaVinci Cod. A small fishstick with five pounds of breading and other filler. Once you cut through it all you realize that although there is a lot there, you've essentially been deceived. On the side will be a heaping portion of Condaleeza rice. For the vegetarians in the crowd we will serve a new dish on the White House menu- Salad Hussein, a seven-bean assortment aged for several weeks in a hole in the ground. One serving and I guarantee you, your stomach will be filled with weapons of mass destruction!

May this day see your approval ratings higher than mine!

Sincerely,

George W. Bush