Saturday, April 29, 2006

The complexity of life

I'm sitting at home on a Saturday afternoon, around 4:30. The Cleveland Browns drafted someone I've never heard of. I'm watching my son put dominoes in his mouth as if he is washing them, two at a time and then he swaps them out for some more. The rest of the family is napping.

My son visited the pediatric neurologist Thursday, Dr. Max Wiznitzer. Top of the heap in his field. We discussed the rituals my son goes through- he has to arrange his food a certain way, he has to touch the cracks in the pavement a certain way, he has to collect things and hold them all day- and the good Doc prescribed a small daily dosage of Prozac to counter his obsessive-compulsive tendencies. I'm not real cool with that, but there isn't any rainbow on the horizon so we're running with it. He also wants to have his blood tested for Fragile X Syndrome. This is a mutation of the X chromosome which is passed on from the mother, and leads to mental retardation and some forms of autism. If the first child is born with it then the second child has a 20-25% chance of getting it as well, and the third has a 50% chance. So if my son tests positive for this (and we won't know for a month, so don't ask), then the baby factory is closed, because we aren't going to keep raising babies for the state to financially support.

I am engaged in a process to find a new career, with the help of the Bureau for Vocational Rehabilitation. This process isn't going to lead to a new job in a week or two, more like a month or two, because first I have to talk to people in different fields and choose a career path, then find out what training will be necessary and get it, and then start the resume sending and Internet searching process all over. Eventually it will lead to something, but the challenge is in the getting there.

I now understand why people cheat the welfare system. They shouldn't do it, mind you, but I understand why they do it. We were getting $500 in food stamps for my family of four, which was plenty for the month. Then my daughter's SSI was approved, and Human Services cut our food stamps by $100. So now we don't have enough for a month. We end up short at the end of the month, meaning we have to spend some actual money on food; not a big deal, except that this month we had about $35 in the bank with a week to go. And I need at least $25 of that for gas for the week.

(And before someone asks me why I'm paying for the Internet in my home, I'll cut you off at the pass. I do job searching on the Internet. I get leads to jobs e-mailed to me from different sites, and it's sure a lot more convenient to do it from home than to run out to the library constantly where there's no guarantee that I'll even be able to get on. It's a business expense.)

So with all of that happening, I haven't blogged. I haven't wanted to. I don't care. I don't care about Barry Bonds and steroids, I don't care about the latest technological gadgets that have been acquired by the intercessory missionaries, I don't care to hear about what is cool. I don't care to hear the emergent church's whinings about how the established church doesn't get it; I don't care to hear the established church tell the emergents to grow up. Just shut the hell up already.

A five year old child died in Elyria this week from injuries sustained while he was playing superhero. He wore a cape, he jumped off the dresser to the bed, and his cape got caught in a hanging lamp. After reading that story I just can't get worked up about the blogging world. IHOP missionaries- quit kvetching about how you can't bring a latte into the prayer room and just pray already. Catholic apologists- there are times to talk about the faith and times to live the faith and shut the mouth. Learn the difference. Baseball fans- he who is without sin cast the first syringe.

I have to go. Anyone know some good hot dog recipes? Because I'll be eating a lot of them in the next few days.


Blogger Passion said...

You know what? I understand! I have a son with Fragile X Syndrome, he's six years old and has alot of learning problems but he's doing great! with alot of help and alot patiecnce! but....when I found out about Fragile X it was devestaing to me because i felt like it was my fault that my child was like this...see I have the full mutation of the gene so that means my son got the full one too...but he's doing great and he's got one great dad and step mom who take care of him...and me and my husband so he gets alot of attention which is good. but i just wanted to comment and I hope it all works out for you...just to let you know, the more help you get with him the better he will be in the long run. good luck and Blessings! to you and your family


11:24 PM  
Blogger Busy Bee said...

Listen to the sermons of Jimmy Swaggart Ministries. You will hear the truth about who Jesus is, and hear the truth about His Second coming. Jesus is real. Who cares about john Lennon, or anybody else? They are responsible for themselves and their own salvation. Just as we all are. Blessings to ya! Hey, Jimmy ain't perfect, either. Just an ordinary human who made mistakes. Has anyone else ever made any??????? Watch the glass house.....

7:21 PM  
Blogger Busy Bee said...

I posted the previous message on the wrong entry. I am so sorry.

I came back and re-read about your son. I will keep him in my prayers, as well as the rest of your family. I am so very sorry. I also noticed this was posted a while ago, so am in hopes that he is on the mend. I lift him up to The Lord. God Bless.

9:23 PM  

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