Friday, November 04, 2005


I spent some time today reading over a lot of old posts. Forgive me for this shameless act of self-promotion, but I think I write pretty good :) At least I used to.

I started this blog to map out the journey. I didn't have any idea whether people would actually read what I wrote and I didn't care. I shot from the hip, I was brutally honest about what I liked and didn't like about churches I went to and people I encountered, and quite frankly I really knew how to turn a phrase.

Then came the Chronicle-Telegram article. Quite frankly I kind of dug seeing my picture in the paper. I got a few hits after the article appeared, mostly local. I kept plugging along. What really brought people to the blog was a post I wrote entitled "What Would Jesus Flood?", written after Hurricane Katrina hit. An evangelical blogger named Carla Rolfe posted a link, and then the flood came (pardon the pun). Got me a lot of hits after her link; even had one Monday Morning theologian reprint my essay in its entirety and then proceed to pick me apart. Hey, that's cool; nothing wrong with dialogue. But dialogue wasn't what he wanted; he just wanted to show everyone how much he knew and how many ten-dollar words he could throw around.

When I reached the end of the story, I realized that the journey was about to take a familiar turn. I decided to "revert" to the Catholic Church. Immediately I lost every regular evangelical blogger who had ever come to read my meandering ramblings, but I gained a new group of loyal followers, ones who cheered me on in the comments section and through private e-mails. "You go, guy!" Michael Dubruiel posted a link to another post of mine entitled "More Catholic Than The Pope" and another crowd joined me for the ride.

And this is where I hit the wall. All of a sudden I felt like I needed to gear what I wrote to the audience instead of writing from my heart. I started playing to the crowd. I certainly couldn't publish any political opinions, because one group of people would tune me out; if I admitted that I attended Mass in English instead of the Tridentine Mass exclusively, another group would have my hide; and God help me if I admitted that Mike Bickle means as much to me spiritually as Marcel LeFebvre. And I certainly wasn't going to adopt the style of three-fourths of the blogs out there and ridicule those with whom I disagreed.

I don't have anything to say right now. I spend too much time on the computer anyway, and I think that I need to take a step back and re-evaluate where I'm going with this. I've had fun doing it, and I've enjoyed revisiting certain segments of my spiritual past. I've enjoyed hearing from regular readers, although I'm still waiting to hear from Winnisquam, New Hampshire and find out exactly who you are :)

I just think it's time to stop writing about God for a spell and try getting to know Him.

I plan on taking the rest of November off, and then we'll see what happens. May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you!

Peace! I'm out.


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