Wednesday, October 17, 2012

MacNair Autism F.A.Q.

1) I've never seen Temple Grandin, the person or the movie. I don't like to watch autism movies. Occasionally a documentary.

2) I have, however, seen Rain Man. Dustin Hoffman is a national treasure.

3) No, my kids are not like Rain Man. It's called Autism SPECTRUM Disorder for a reason.

4) I have not read nor do I care to read Jenny McCarthy. As a rule I don't read books on autism, with one big exception which I recommend to everyone: Autism's False Prophets

5) My kids go to a school for special-needs students. They don't "ride the short bus"; they aren't "retards"; if you use terms like that in front of me, we will have a problem.

6) No, I don't know what causes it, nor do I care to speculate anymore. My kids have it. What causes it is no longer my concern.

7) No, I didn't see Dr. Oz the other day, nor have I read the latest Reader's Digest, nor did I see 60 Minutes three months ago, nor have I seen that website that someone posted at I can't read that stuff. I'm too busy living it.

8) No, my kids are not on a gluten-free diet, nor have they undergone chelation therapy, nor have I had the demons cast out of them. I refuse to spend hundreds of dollars on therapies with little evidence to back them up.

9) If my son or my daughter touch themselves in public, you don't have to stare. I'll take care of it.

9a) If I go into the can with my son and help him go to the bathroom it's because I have to. It isn't because I want to. Occasionally he needs help with his aim. There is no way to do that without, you know, aiming him.

9b) I do not take my daughter to the bathroom, nor do I change her diaper, nor do I change her pad. Because I know someone is wondering.

10) Yes, I am aware that in the grand scheme of things there are people who have it worse than me. I know some of those people. I've seen some of those people at different events. But I don't live in the grand scheme of things, I live in the small scheme of things. I still have to take care of my children, and I still get frustrated.

11) If you ask me "what can I do for you?" or "if there is anything I can do, just ask", I am going to tell you specific things you can do to help us. If you are unable to do those things, then please don't express your willingness to do "anything".

11a) The most helpful people to me right now might very well be the Jehovah's Witnesses. Because they stop by to talk every once in awhile. Just saying.

12) My house is usually a mess. I am up several times a night with my son. I sleep during the day. I do my best to keep up.

12a) The existence of such a mess is not an invitation for you to contact Children's Services. Yeah, Officer Merrill, I am talking to you.

13) Yes, I occasionally get jealous of parents whose kids say cute things, play football, go to college and get married. Yes, I know I shouldn't. Please just cut me some slack on this one.


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