Nobody Told Me There’d Be Days Like These

if i said i believe my eyes
and science can move my soul
if i said i'm not afraid to die
and i don't need you

i'd be lying

if i said the way he looks at me
doesn't make me want to undress
if i said i could leave you now
and go where i could forget

i'd be lying

i've been lying all my life with silence
and i need to find the words to tell you

if i said i don't want what i don't have
and all the answers are enough
if i said i believe in myself
and that's enough
i'd be lying
---Sam Phillips, "Lying"

Writing an entry every month and a half sure isn't going to build me a readership base. But maybe I just don't give a crap.

I almost titled this essay "Christians are assholes," because that's how I've been feeling lately. I read Christian blogs and see more mention of Ann Coulter than Jesus Christ, and I think to myself, "Boy, these people really need to get a clue." Ann Coulter isn't a preacher, she isn't even a good commentator. She is to political commentating what pro wrestling is to real sport. In other works, she's a bitch.

Christians defending their taste in music forget that music isn't what it's all about. If I have to hear the phrase "We're just Christians in a band" one more time, I'm going to go postal on someone. Try devoting as much energy into reading your Bible as you do in telling me why you have the right to go to Burning Man and why, if I really cared about reaching the lost, I would go too.

On a personal level, I can't forget Triablogue, the sharp-tongued blogger who ripped me a new one for daring to express some of my frustrations in the spiritual life after Hurricane Katrina (my essay and his response). If his point was that the theologically astute Christian can behave like an arrogant son of a bitch with impunity, well, mission accomplished there, Tri.

And then there is the charter member of the foot-in-mouth club, the Reverend Pat Robertson. He doesn't believe that Mormons are Christians, but he is having one speak at his university's commencement (presidential candidate Mitt Romney). Why? It should be obvious. If Romney becomes the party's nominee, Robertson has scored some points with the man. Pat is more concerned about gaining some political capital than being consistent in his spiritual stands.

Everywhere I turn, a Christian is behaving like a complete and utter asshole. And I am tired of pretending that I want to be indentified with them.

So at this point in my life I have little of spiritual benefit to offer anyone. I have nothing in the tank. I have an autistic son who throws fits for hours at a time, throwing himself on the floor and hurting himself in the process. I have an autistic daughter who hasn't developed enough at the age of four to be able to be mainstreamed into the local elementary school that her brother excels in. I neither have the time nor the energy to discuss Titus Chu, God's foreknowledge or whether Mormons have their ticket to heaven reserved. I just don't have the energy, and quite frankly I'm sorry there are people out there who do. Just feed somebody the bread. Don't whack them with the loaf.

Don't forget, people. The key word in Christian politician, or Christian music, or Christian blogger, is the word "Christian." Not the second part of the phrase.

Im sick and tired of hearing things
From uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocritics
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth

Ive had enough of reading things
By neurotic, psychotic, pig-headed politicians
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth

No short-haired, yellow-bellied, son of tricky dicky
Is gonna mother hubbard soft soap me
With just a pocketful of hope
Money for dope
Money for rope

No short-haired, yellow-bellied, son of tricky dicky
Is gonna mother hubbard soft soap me
With just a pocketful of soap
Money for dope
Money for rope

Im sick to death of seeing things
From tight-lipped, condescending, mamas little chauvinists
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth now

Ive had enough of watching scenes
Of schizophrenic, ego-centric, paranoiac, prima-donnas
All I want is the truth now
Just gimme some truth

No short-haired, yellow-bellied, son of tricky dicky
Is gonna mother hubbard soft soap me
With just a pocketful of soap
Its money for dope
Money for rope

Ah, Im sick and tired of hearing things
From uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocrites
All I want is the truth now
Just gimme some truth now


Ive had enough of reading things
By neurotic, psychotic, pig-headed politicians
All I want is the truth now
Just gimme some truth now

All I want is the truth now
Just gimme some truth now
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth

All I want is the truth

Just gimme some truth

---John Lennon, "Gimme Some Truth"