The Joys of Ebay

Ya gotta love Ebay, don't you? I mean, where else can you find just scads of worthless crap. I mean, besides my closet.

I was doing a little Ebay surfing tonight and decided that I wanted to find just the worst stuff imaginable. Didn't take long before I found what is known in collector's circles as "black memorabilia." No, I don't mean an Oprah Winfrey autograph. I don't mean a suit coat owned by Barack Obama. I mean... well, let me show you what I mean.

(The captions and descriptions in bold are real. The comments in between are my own. Anyone easily offended can back out now.)

"OFFICIAL" NEGRO BLACK MAMMY snowglobe

"THAT'S RIGHT, this is an 'OFFICIAL' NEGRO BLACK MAMMY snowglobe.
Watch for hours as the elegant snowflakes glisten and float gently around this lovely victim of oppression. The 'OFFICIAL' NEGRO BLACK MAMMY snowglobe stands 4" tall with a 3" base. This snowglobe will make the perfect gift for collectors of 'Black Memorabilia'"

Well holy crap.

But wait... There's more.

WATERMELON NEGRO girl huge advertising SEEDS pin

"Here's an unusual 3.5" beautiful pin; ..excellent condition.. the pin uses vintage artwork from advertising archives that employed racial stereotypes for product recognition.... this pin was made as original collectible c. late 1970s utilizing earlier product tin advertising artwork."

good God.

CAST IRON 4 EYED NEGRO LADY BOTTLE OPENER WALL MOUNT

"Unusual Cast Iron 4 eyed Lady Bottle Opener. Approximately 4" x 4". Holes in ears for easy mounting. This is a stock photo. Very nice item for a collector of bottle openers or to give as a gift for someone who has everything."

yeah, if the person who has everything is missing that special something racist from their collection.

mayo's tobacco co. rolly polly brownie tin Negro Mammy

"Here she is . The one you've been looking for. As described in one of the books, "Negro Mammy" 7" x 19" cir at widest part. Pull off lid. She is in beautiful condition for a tin made around 1909/1912 She does have 3 or 4 little indents 1/2 dia. or less on her head.You can see them in the pics.Also there are 3 pin head size spots on head where paint is missing.This certainly does not detract from her overall beauty.The bottom has normal wear.I'm not sure but I believe collectors call this fine condition. Very close to pristine. Good luck on your bidding!!"

and I saved the worst for last....

Circa 1950 " Ten Little Nigger Boys" by Pyramid books

"Published by "Pyramid Publications - Sydney" probably in early 50's late 40's. Drawings by Mollie Quick. Cover is damaged to top and bottom of spine and staples that hold pages have come away from cover. Inner pages are in excellent condition, though 1st page has owners name in ink " Garry Torres." Excellent collectors book."

And this went for $157 American.

Oh... my... God.

As Beavis and Butthead would say, "What the hell is this crap?"