Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Hey Jesus, it's me

i'm not gonna call on you any more
i'm sure you've got a million things to do
all i was trying to do was to get through to you
because when i die and i get up to your doors i don't even know if you're gonna let me in the place
how come i gotta die to get a change to talk to you face to face?
---Indigo Girls, "Hey Jesus"

I took Elizabeth to an FCS meeting and she fell right into the social circle that the females of the group had developed. (Guys had no similar social circle- as much as I was exhorted to spend my time with the brothers, they were too busy spending their time with their girlfriends.) Pretty soon she dropped out of ACT and started going to FCS. That really pi...umm...peeved me off. She didn't have time for me anymore. She was told to hang around "the sisters" by one Dave Heindel.

I equated her pursuing the Lord in a different direction with her rejecting me. Not that we were together, at least not officially; but as far as I was (and still am) concerned, while not officially dating, we were together. I got pretty depressed and was a real jerk to her, trying to guilt trip her into "officially" dating me. (note- guilt does not work!) At one point (the day after election day 1988-I remember) she introduced me to a woman named Marie who had dealt with depression (and a whole h*** of a lot more). I fell for Marie big time, I started attending FCS. Notice a pattern? But I stuck with FCS and Bowling Green Covenant Church (BGCC) for a couple of years. My next church.

What did I like about BGCC? The better question is who I liked about BGCC. Mike McDermott. Mike Peterman. Jennifer Barnard. Marie. My friends were there, and I wanted to be with them. FCS meetings had some fantastic worship times. To this day my favorite worship band is two acoustic guitars. I will never forget college worship. Jim Barth was another thing/person I liked about BGCC. I have always had the knack for developing a good relationship with my pastor, and Jim was no different. I liked him. I've tried to get in touch with him recently to no avail. (If you know where Jim Barth is, tell me.)

What didn't I like about BGCC (and by extension, FCS)? Hmm. Do you have a few years? No, just kidding. But there were several things about BGCC that I grew to dislike. And you know me- I ask too many questions, and people don't like that. I don't think many people in FCS knew too much about the theological underpinnings of the discipleship movement, or the Christian Reconstruction movement. I started to read about both. I started to hate the phrase "did you get counsel on that?" How about having to consult your shepherd and do what they said? Who ever questioned guys like Dave Heindel? Well, I did, and was called rebellious and cocky. The ensuing years have proven me right about discipleship, but not about Dave. We had some good conversations before he moved and I grew to really like him.

The history of BGCC was shaky because they pursued every fad in 1970’s Christendom. Faith movement extremism ala Hobart Freeman. Reconstruction. Discipleship. Greg Weis was zealous but also just ridiculously condemnatory toward those who disagreed with him. No surprise to me when he was busted for adultery. Joseph McAuliffe was/is an intelligent man, but he had faults too. The church was built on a shaky foundation by people who were young Christians and not that stable.

I was with FCS from November of 1988 until the fall of 1990. One FCS meeting I will always remember; I think everyone who was there will remember it. November 18, 1988. Next time :)


Blogger Jen said...

Re: 11/18/88

Oh boy, here we go.

Be careful about namin' names, 'kay?

(Yes that Jen.)

1:38 PM  
Blogger Sean MacNair said...

Wow, someone actually reads this stuff! :)

I've been careful so far and will continue to do so. As I said previously, these are my interpretations of some of these events, not necessarily the final word.

3:14 PM  

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